Hurricane Reese Page 20

  Jude took a calming breath and counted a few beats.

  “If it were a choice, that would be so much easier. It’s not a choice. My only choice in this matter is whether I continue to hide that part of myself from my family. I am who I am, and that’s not going to change. I’m gay. I was born gay. It was nothing anyone did or said that changed me. Reese did not make me gay, if that’s what you think.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, JJ. Your mother and I may have been gone for some time, but we aren’t completely in the dark. You’re our son. Whatever you decide to do with your life is between you and your God. Only he can judge, and I don’t worry that he’ll judge you. You’ve done nothing but give to others your whole life. You’re a child of God, my son, and I believe he will love you regardless of whether you marry a man or a woman.”

  Who were these people? Had he really gotten it so wrong? He hadn’t imagined the response he got from his uncle.

  “What about Tito Rommel? He doesn’t agree.”

  “He is not your father, and he’ll have to go along with my wishes. My wish is for you to be happy, son. I still don’t know how I feel about all of this. It took me some time to come to accept, although I don’t wish this life for you because I know it will be difficult. I also know you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known, and I’m proud to be your father.”

  Jude couldn’t hold back his tears. His father reached forward, placed a hand on Jude’s knee, and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

  “Now I want to play cards. Who’s coming to play cards with me?” He stood and smiled down at his wife and son. Then he turned and left the room.

  Jude went into his mother’s embrace without hesitation. It was still okay to cry with Mom. Jude knew that, whatever his age, his mother would always hold him as though he were still a child. When he could breathe normally, he sat back and reached for a tissue to clean himself up.

  “Are you better, son?”

  Jude nodded, and his mother smiled.

  “That’s good. Now, just because Reese has arranged all of this for you, it doesn’t mean you have to go. You need to do what’s best for you—whatever makes you happy. Your father and I want that for you.”

  Jude was happy to be sitting next to his mother, having the conversation openly. Finally. It had been a long two years without her and his father around on a daily basis to help him navigate his life and continue to present him with advice. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed them.

  Jude spent another few hours with his family, who did an excellent job of avoiding the topic of Reese. Jude wanted to be free of decision-making and responsibilities. He just wanted to be a child again. As the evening wore on and Jude’s eyelids grew heavy, he pretended he’d disappeared and no one could see how exhausted he was, how much weight he’d been carrying, and how much physical and emotional pain he was in. He tried so hard that he let his eyes close and burrowed into the couch, just for a short nap, he told himself. He’d leave when everyone left for midnight mass. Just a few minutes of rest….

  JUDE WOKE the next morning to his phone buzzing. He reached across to the coffee table in his uncle’s living room and picked it up. It was a text from work.

  We don’t need you today, after all. Thank you for offering. Merry Christmas.

  Left with nothing to do, Jude allowed his body to rest. Bailey and Brianna shared the pull-out couch across from him. Jude smiled at their sleeping figures and let his mind drift back to Christmas mornings of the past when they’d been in their own home with their parents.

  Jude would usually be the first one up, and he would wait patiently in front of the lit tree for the others to join him. They’d often sleep later that morning because of the days of predawn Simbang Gabi masses that led up to Christmas Day. And then Jude and his younger siblings stayed up late the night before, waiting impatiently for the rest of their family to come over so they could spend the day eating and opening presents.

  Bailey sat up and rubbed at his face. His hair stuck up all over. He frowned and looked around until his gaze landed on Jude, and a big smile spread across his face.

  “You stayed,” he said.

  “I did. You’re stuck with me.” Jude sat up and smiled when he realized his mother—or someone—had covered him with his favorite quilt. It felt soft under his hands, and it encouraged him to stay put and relax.

  “So you talked to Mom? Are we going to Reese’s house?”

  He looked so hopeful, it killed Jude to disappoint him. But before he could answer, Brianna smacked Bailey in the face with a pillow.

  “You’re so loud. I’m trying to sleep here.” She rolled off the sofa bed, trudged across the room, and plopped down next to Jude. She linked fingers with him and rested her head on his shoulder. “It feels right with you here,” she said softly.

  “It feels right having Mom and Dad here,” Jude said, and he kissed his sister’s hair. Being surrounded by his family’s love did a lot to heal Jude’s bruised and broken soul.

  “They really do want you to be happy, JJ. Mom and Dad had a big fight with Tito when they got here and Dad got the real story.”

  Jude frowned. “What do you mean, the real story?”

  Bailey snorted, and Brianna shushed him.

  “Tito tried to tell them he was forcing you home because you were sleeping in your truck, but Tita said, ‘Oh no you don’t, you old fool. You don’t want people talking about your gay nephew living in sin.’”

  Jude shook his head at Brianna’s story. Of course Rommel would be concerned about appearances.

  “Yeah,” Bailey said. “And then she said, ‘I think it’s wonderful that Jude found somebody, especially that handsome Reese Matheson. You know he used to have a girlfriend? I saw her on that new show. Maybe it was our JJ who turned him gay? He is very handsome too. And such a good dancer.’”

  Brianna laughed, but then she leaned in closer to Jude. “Please don’t stay in your truck again. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you.”

  Jude hugged her to him and was reminded once more of how amazing his siblings were. “Hey, remember when you used to teach us dances for Christmas morning?” Bailey climbed off the couch and hurriedly removed the blankets, folded the bed back into the couch, and made a space for an impromptu performance. Brianna got up and shook off her sleepiness so she could dance with him. They sang along to “All I Want for Christmas is You” and busted out antiquated moves that made Jude cringe.

  “Come on and join us, JJ.”

  Jude pulled himself off the couch and stretched, pleased to be warm and not smushed in the back of the Pathfinder.

  “This space isn’t exactly big enough for us anymore, you guys.” He spun around, moved side to side, and nearly bumped a lamp off the table. Brianna laughed at his clumsiness, and he turned to face them. He mirrored their moves and admired how much both of them had grown in their dancing ability. Color guard was good for them. He was happy he’d been able to keep them involved with it. It made it all worth it.

  As they started in on their second dance, Mom and Dad joined them from the kitchen and applauded. The family shared hugs and then sat together chatting on the couch. Jude was glad he hadn’t gone to work.

  While the family feasted on sweet spaghetti and lechon, Jude almost felt at home. When his phone buzzed in his pocket later, he reached for it without thinking. His heart dropped when he saw Reese’s name on the screen, and when he pushed back from the table to answer the phone, his uncle shot him a scolding look.

  “Hello?” he answered as he left the room and caught his mom’s questioning glance.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt your Christmas Day, Jude.”

  Just the sound of his voice made Jude’s head swim with emotion. Was there any way he could ever have both parts of his life in harmony?

  “You aren’t interrupting,” Jude lied.

  Reese sighed into the phone. “I….”

  They didn’t speak for several moments. Jude wanted to tell Rees
e that he’d be right there, or for him to bring Mr. Matheson over and let their families figure out how to deal with them together. Then he remembered he was supposed to be angry with Reese.

  “What did you need, Reese?”

  He wanted him to say “you.”

  “It’s Grandpa. He took off again this morning—”

  “Oh no. Did you look—”

  “I found him. It’s okay. I was in the shower, and I’d forgotten to reset the alarm. He was just at the corner store trying to buy some noodles. He was arguing with the guy that he didn’t want Cup O’ Noodles, he wanted Jude’s noodles.”

  Jude chuckled. “What can I say? The man is addicted to my cooking.”

  “It’s good to hear you laugh,” Reese said softly.

  I miss you. I love you. Ask me to come home.

  “I thought I would see if there was any way you could bring him some noodles. He seems really off today. I—”

  “Yes. Yes, of course I will. I’ll bring it over right now.”

  Reese was quiet. “Thank you. I’m sorry to bother you.”

  How could you ever think you were bothering me? What happened to wanting me in the way? What happened to us?

  “It’s no bother. I’ll be there soon.”

  With his heart pounding in his ears, Jude hung up the phone. He went back into the kitchen and interrupted his mother and aunties, who had apparently been waiting for him.

  “We packed food for you to take to the Mathesons.”

  Tita Gemma handed him two large bags full of containers. There were sweets, meat, lumpia, and a hot container of noodles.

  “You should hurry,” his mother said with a smile. “Don’t want that to get cold.” She kissed him on the cheek and smiled. “Go to your heart,” she whispered only for him to hear. He smiled and took the bags from her.

  “Can I come too?” Bailey stood behind him with an eager grin.

  “Yes, Bailey, go with your brother,” his mother said. She shared a knowing glance with Bailey. Apparently they’d worked out some sort of deal. It probably involved surveillance.

  “Sure. Don’t spill.”

  The De La Torre women shooed them out of the kitchen. Tita Germaine gave him a finger wave and a knowing smile.

  The drive over only took fifteen minutes because traffic was light on the holiday. Bailey messed around with the radio dial and hummed along to a Christmas station. Jude could tell he wanted to talk, and he was grateful that Bailey respected Jude’s need for quiet right then. He was too much of a mess to try to hold a conversation.

  When they pulled up, Bailey hopped out of the truck, grabbed the bags from the back seat, and left Jude to gawk at the way the house had changed.

  Was it even the right house? He checked the numbers, and sure enough, it was the Matheson cottage. But a giant new structure jutted out from the front of the place. Jude slowly climbed down from the truck and studied the addition in awe as Bailey bounded up the steps. Jude hurried to catch up as Bailey pounded on the front door.

  “Not so loud. Mr. Matheson might be sleeping.”

  Reese opened the door, gestured for Bailey to go inside with the bags, and patted him on the back as he passed. Bailey pushed past him into the house and that left Jude standing awkwardly on the porch.

  “Hi,” Reese said, and a sad smile formed at the corners of his mouth. He was wearing a bulky dark sweater and jeans with holes in various places on the legs. They looked authentic, as if those jeans had traveled many of life’s miles with Reese. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had dark circles under them. He was still incredibly beautiful to Jude and always would be.

  “My aunties sent enough food for an army. I hope you’re hungry.”

  Reese stepped back and held the door open for Jude. All Jude wanted to do was to curl up against Reese’s broad chest and wrap his arms around his wide back. He wanted to be held, wanted to find that comfort once again. As he stepped closer, Reese backed up to give him space. It hurt.

  Jude tried not to laugh when he got a look at Reese’s feeble attempt to keep the house neat. There was nothing on the floor, but every surface was covered in clutter—from used dishes to magazines and books, to papers strewn about that appeared to be sheet music.

  “He’s in his room. He’s got an adjustable bed now and a flat screen. He says it’s more comfortable for him to watch TV that way. He seemed really down this morning. I’m sorry to take you away from your family.”

  Jude turned to face Reese, but Reese looked away and blew out a breath.

  “I’ll just, umm… tell him that you’re here.”

  He walked over to a set of double doors that apparently led to the new bedroom. Jude heard him speak softly, and Mr. Matheson’s grumbly voice answered. Reese returned to the room a moment later.

  “He’d like to see you,” he said. “I’m just going to fix him a bowl.”

  Jude nodded and watched Reese walk with hunched shoulders into the kitchen. Jude took a deep breath and entered Mr. Matheson’s room.

  “Quite the nice place you’ve got here,” he said. He put on a brave smile.

  Mr. Matheson was watching a giant flat screen with National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation playing.

  “I love Chevy Chase. That guy has some balls. You ever see Caddyshack? Classic stuff.”

  Jude took a walk around the room admiring all the touches Reese had installed—bars near the toilet and in the shower, an extrawide entrance, an alarm system that chimed when the doors opened. He went the extra mile to be sure his grandfather was safe.

  “It’s good to see you, my boy. Come over here and set down.” He pointed to the side of his double bed. Jude sat down gently and patted Mr. Matheson’s hand.

  “Glad to be out of the facility, I bet?”

  “You know it,” he said. “That food was about to kill me. And it was so drafty. My balls are probably permanently shriveled. I don’t think they’ve loosened up since I got home. That’s a good thing. No more whacking me in the knees.”

  Jude could tell by the smirk on his face that Mr. Matheson was trying to mess with him.

  “Just keep those things to yourself, you hear me? How’s it working out with Kyla?”

  The old man raised his eyebrow and squinted at Jude. “She’s okay. She lets me get away with more than you did. Isn’t always after me to go to bed on time, get up from my naps and walk.” His gaze drifted to the TV, and Jude thought he was done speaking until he said, “I was hoping she’d only be temporary. That you’d come back. It’s just not the same without you here.”

  Mr. Matheson’s eyes shot to the doorway, where Reese stood with his food and gave him a look that probably meant to knock it off.

  “You can thank Jude’s family for this delicious food you’ll be eating for a couple of days.” He set a standing tray over Mr. Matheson’s lap, and Mr. Matheson’s eyes bugged out.

  “This looks tasty. You boys gonna eat?”

  “We ate already,” Bailey said from the doorway. “How are you feeling, Mr. Matheson?”

  The old man’s eyes sparkled, and he gestured for Bailey to come close. “Why, Jude, he looks like the spitting image of you. Come here, boy, and let me see ya.”

  Bailey couldn’t stop smiling as he approached the bed with a hand out to shake. Mr. Matheson took his hand and looked him over.

  “He looks like more trouble than you, though Jude, my boy. Son, you getting into trouble with the ladies? Or the boys, I should say in present company?”

  Reese cursed, and Jude snorted. Bailey laughed nervously.

  “Uh, no trouble. With either.” He shrugged, and just like that, the awkward moment was over.

  “You ever watch this movie, my boy?” He patted the side of the bed for Bailey to sit down, which he did, and he gasped.

  “I haven’t seen this, but that’s a great TV, Mr. Matheson. You could do some serious gaming.”

  “Gaming? You mean them video games? Ain’t never played nothing like that. Maybe you can bring yours o
ver and set it up, teach me how to play. It’s not like I got anything else to do, laid up here like I am.”

  Soon both of them were thoroughly engaged in the movie, and Reese gestured for Jude to join him in the other room.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “WOULD YOU take a walk with me?” Reese asked Jude, hoping to get a few moments alone. Jude looked over at his brother and Grandpa and nodded his head.

  “Sure,” he said. “Be right back, Bail.”

  Bailey waved at him, his eyes glued to the movie, and Reese gestured for Jude to head toward the kitchen. They walked silently through the house, into the backyard, and down the steps to the beach. It was sunset, and the air was chilly. Reese never minded the cold, but he noticed Jude rubbing the arms of his light jacket.

  “Do you want my sweater?” he offered.

  Jude shook his head. “I’ll be fine,” he said quietly, sneaking a glance at Reese.

  “I know I’ve done just about everything wrong with you, and I’m so sorry for that. I wouldn’t do you the disservice of asking for you to give me another chance, but I’d really appreciate it if you would consider moving back to stay with Grandpa. He really misses you. Kyla’s great but—”

  “I’ll do it,” Jude said. “I miss him too.”

  They walked along the shore, and Reese tried to channel the calming vibe of the waves as they had their conversation.

  “I can’t tell you how much we’d both appreciate that. I’ll have my things moved over to Toby’s tomorrow. You can come back whenever you are ready.”

  “What about you? I know how much you wanted to spend time with him. Why would you move out? You just had that room added on.”

  Reese felt his emotions climbing to the surface. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Or your family. They weren’t okay with me living with you.”

  “It’s not their decision,” Jude said firmly.

  Reese stopped walking. Jude turned to face the water and wouldn’t look at him. It was frustrating as all hell to not reach out and touch Jude when Reese wanted to give his everything to him. In the waning light, Jude’s serious features softened some as he looked out over the horizon.